Replies: ArtAscent.com

https://artascent.com/maria-d-peregolise/#comments
  1. Michael Peregolises says:February 11, 2020 at 12:28 am Maria’s writing is a guiding light in the dark for people who are struggling with or who have struggled and suffered the abuse doled out by a narcissistic parent or cult leader.
    Maria illustrates how growing up in such an environment molded her to mute herself, doubt herself and caused her perpetual inner turmoil.
    And though victims of narcists may have been caged in the convoluted realities of their abusers for years or in her case, a lifetime, Maria writes empowering words of hope, in which one can recognize the actual reality of their situation, come to terms with it and decide to define reality for themselves;
    “Deciding what reality you are willing to live within is vital. Just as crucial, is the turmoil you give yourself permission to live without.”Reply
  2. Sabrina Delila Telis says:February 5, 2020 at 1:56 pm Very excited to receive my February edition specifically for Mrs. Peregolise’s piece. Her website and the upcoming book explores a childhood of narcissism and neglect. Maria has the emotional intelligence to help others realize their own trauma and discover that the “sky is not green and the grass is not blue”.Reply
  3. Lynn Reagin says:February 2, 2020 at 11:12 am I’m so proud of Maria and her willingness to share about her childhood. Much of who we are and who we become is shaped during our childhood. We can all learn from each other’s experiences. Thank you, Maria, for sharing your story.Reply
  4. Daniel Peregolise says:February 1, 2020 at 7:17 pm Can’t wait! If there’s anything I have learned from Maria’s writing, it’s that the concepts of faith and family can be just as damaging and terrifying as they can be uplifting and inspiring- and furthermore, that the amount of trust you put into someone is directly proportionate to the amount of control they have over you. Maria’s writing is emotional and informative, and demonstrates that the damage done to a child in a cult setting can go unnoticed and almost inconsequential until years later, when the threads of faith begin to unravel- and the former culted child’s self-image and worldview along with it.Reply

Dissociation: A Weighted Greyness

“Your words to me just a whisper, Your face is so unclear, I try to pay attention, Your words just disappear, ‘Cause it’s always raining in my head.” Staind, Epiphany, 2001 [1] Artist: Staind, Album: Break the Cycle, Released: 2001

The URANTIA Book language preaches, “The family is the fundamental unit of fraternity in which parents and children learn those lessons of patience, altruism, tolerance, and forbearance which are so essential to the realization of brotherhood among all men.” * [2]84:7:28 (941.9) The Urantia Book. Chicago: Urantia Foundation, 1955

Meanwhile, sometimes it was a belt, but usually Dad’s redirection was ‘Big Hands,’ which was my Grandmother’s term for hitting. I received one particular belt-welt on my upper thigh, when Dad had chased me into the kitchen, and I had nowhere to run. I don’t think he’d liked the mark it had left that time.

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References   [ + ]

1. Artist: Staind, Album: Break the Cycle, Released: 2001
2. 84:7:28 (941.9) The Urantia Book. Chicago: Urantia Foundation, 1955

Physical Memory Loss

“…suppressing our recollections can create a “virtual lesion” in the brain that casts an “amnesiac shadow” over the formation of new memories.” (Davis, 2016) [1] Nicola Davis, Suppressing traumatic memories can cause amnesia, research suggests, New study could explain why people suffering from PTSD and other psychological disorders can have difficulty forming everyday memories, 2016 https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/mar/15/suppressing-traumatic-memories-can-cause-amnesia-research-suggests

It’s interesting that they term this ‘virtual wound’ as a ‘shadow,’ since I called mine a ‘Grey Box.’ My ‘Grey Box of Practiced Memory-Loss’ could get out of control — it still can. When I’d realized I could purposely, actively call it up to watch it cover and drag away a thought, it was interesting. It was entertaining.

My Father would tell me God’s secrets and I wasn’t supposed to share them with anyone, so it became advantageous that the Grey Box covered and dragged away a story or incident. At the point of the next continuation of the same conversation, most of the event would float to the surface and bloom open for me to recall.

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References   [ + ]

1. Nicola Davis, Suppressing traumatic memories can cause amnesia, research suggests, New study could explain why people suffering from PTSD and other psychological disorders can have difficulty forming everyday memories, 2016 https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/mar/15/suppressing-traumatic-memories-can-cause-amnesia-research-suggests

Thought Adjuster or Mind Control?

“6. Loading the Language. The group interprets or uses words and phrases in new ways so that often the outside world does not understand. This jargon consists of thought-terminating clichés, which serve to alter members’ thought processes to conform to the group’s way of thinking.” (Lifton 1961) [1]

“Just trust me.” This was Dad’s go-to ‘thought-stopping cliché.’

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